the pursuit of happyness

the other day, as i was writing something to be posted on my blog, i suddenly had the urge to write everything and anything that i want

literally, out of the blue, i suddenly started writing whatever in the world it is that i really wanted, anything that makes me happy, that puts a smile on my face, that excited my imaginations
and as i wrote, i couldn't stop. any ideas or thoughts that crossed my mind ended up on the screen on my laptop

a thought lead to another thought, and that thought to another one, which lead to another one, and another one....well, you get the picture

and as i wrote, i recognized a change in my emotional-mess of a psyche

i felt happy. and after each "i want", i felt happier

just thinking about these random thoughts made me happy.
i know what you're thinking, that i'm very immature and naive and shallow
well i sincerely do not give a damn

anywho, these are, again, random thoughts. unrehearsed and unresearched, but in a way, they are goals none-the-less. however, they are not complete and i do regularly update it everytime i feel like it.

they range from the simply childlike to the utterly bizarre. some are manageable, some are ridiculous, and some even blurs the line between logic and crazy-town

what they have in common is that they make me happy
and that is all i can ask for

so here goes, in no apparent order whatsoever,



i want to do everything that my mind can think of that can make me happy
i want to skydive
i want to play in the rain
i want to get on a banana boat ride
i want to go to disneyland
i want to be the first person that claps his hands when the "clap your hands" moment comes
i want to learn to play the violin and piano
i want to sing my lungs out at a karaoke with friends
i want to have a snowball fight
i want to own a pet tiger cub
i want to play badminton every single day of my life
i want to do charity work
i want to write a book
i want to read more books
i want to invent/discover something and name it after myself =P
i want to make a movie(non-porn preferably)
i want to live in a movie
i want to own a private jet and/or helicopter
i want to watch a football match at stamford bridge
i want to gain weight
i want to not get fat
i want to never smoke a ciggarette/pipe/bong/shisha and etc
i want my cats to age with me
i want to own chelsea fc
i want to take a picture of myself with john terry
i want to be fair(in colour tone)
i want to be fair(in judgement)
i want to have an annoying fake british accent
i want to be fluent in both french and mandarin
i want to recycle more
i want to travel and explore the world
i want to travel to every continent(including antartica)
i want to buy an electrically powered hybrid car
i want to "mengaji" more
i want to learn more solat sunats
i want to not "ponteng" sembahyang
i want to be a UN Goodwill Ambassador
i want to wake up early in the morning
i want to send my parents and nenek and wan to Mekah to perform the Haj or Umrah
i want to buy a Land Rover Discovery for my dad
i want to buy a Land Rover Freelander for my mom
i want to make my mom happy
i want to make my dad proud of me
i want to make my nenek smile
i want to eat my nenek's kuih koci and kuih pau
i want to eat my mom's chocolate cake
i want to minimize(not stop) cursing or swearing
i want to see a day where muslims are not perceived as terrorists
i want to have strong ethics and a good conscience
i want to not care what other people think of me
this might sound cliche', but i want world peace

i want to get married and find my own happily ever after.

fuck, i sound like a girl
lol





this is my own pursuit of happyness.
wish me luck

read and write

Copy and paste and put your own answers in. The purpose of this is to get to know your friends better and it's so much fun!

Here are the rules - post this list on your profile (in Notes) replacing my answers with yours. (You can add the notes tab to your profile page!Tag 25 people to do the same thing

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
i'm all original

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIed?
cant remember

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
hell yeah. even though i know its butt ugly

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL?
i eat anything an everything

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
not that i know of

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
not sure. even now, i dont like people whom other people say are like me

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
every second

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
no idea

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?.
hell to the hell yeah

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
with milk = Koko krunch
w/out milk = honeystars
(sama jwpn dgn sudu)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope. shoelaces arent my biggest concern

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
again. anything and everything

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
being somewhat judgemental, i guess i'd say "alot"

15. RED OR PINK?
red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
not something i think about very often. so i'll skip

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
my friends. all of 'em

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
sure, why not

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
shorts and barefeet

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
jason mrazy - i'm yours...and i will hear this song live at stadium Putra!!! just so u know~ =P

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
orange!

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
anything nature-ish

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
wan

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
football and badminton!!

27. HAIR COLOR?
black.

28. EYE COLOR?
black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
touch my eyes and i'll break ur finger

30. FAVORITE FOOD
refer question no 4

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
i'm a sucker for happy ending.arghh

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
at the cinemas - cant remember
in my laptop - high school musical 3.aagagagagaga

33. WHAT COLOR OF SHIRT DO YOU LIKE TO WEAR?
black..anything goes really. as long as it looks good

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
tropics

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
hersheys

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO?
acts of stupidity

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
boring-ness

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
textbooks

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
i use a book for a mousepad

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
the news

42. FAVOURITE SOUND(S)?
good music

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
the killers

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
i've never left the peninsula. so go figure

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
my cacat-ness is a talent!!

46 WHERE WHERE WERE U BORN?
klinik dr jamal, kl

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK
not sure if anybody will do this one, so not getting my hopes up

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
will tell u as soon as i can.
pftt




all readers are tagged.
u read it
u write it
=D

main batang...

provocative title, aint it?
well,
seeing how i've been so gloomy and boring and on the verge of suicidal(kidding~), i'm letting off some "steam"...
hoho

but i assure you, there are no gay/sexually suggestive comments or remarks in the whole of this entry
well....i'll let u decide.

so here it goes

lately, i've been playing A LOT of cho tai tee(i have no idea how to spell it)
but i know it's pronounced this way

basically, cho tai tee is a 4-player game and its the chinese version of poker, i think...

don't worry, no gambling is involved,
only ego is at stake.
haha

anywayyy, at night, i'll go to my friend's house across the street
and we'll start playing at about 11pm till 2-3am (depending on whether there is class or not the next morning)
the usual players are me, acap, aidil, aimen, epul and hafiz.

the best thing about cho tai tee for me is the part where everyone in the game talks smack!
everyone will go all out to prove that he is the best player in the whole damn world and you are the dirt stuck at the bottom of his shoes
aahahaha

but most of the time, all the trash talking is about psyching you OUT!
making you think what i want you to think
manipulate you
and eventually, winning

plus, it beats the hell out of staring at the laptop
and, its male bonding at its best(fine, this statement is kinda gay)




so, one day, i told my classmates how i rock at playing cho tai tee..
hoho
a couple of friends of mine haven't heard of it
and so i explained to them the basic rules,
how the card 3 of diamonds is the smallest and 2 of spades is the biggest
then, a friend of mine, mamat from terengganu said "ohh, kat ganu kitorg panggil game tu "batang""

and we laughed out loud

in case you haven't got it,
cho tai tee = batang
heh.

damn, now i'm starting to think that all terengganuans are gay.

so, the big question is this
siapa nak main batang??
ahahahahahahah XD

desire.

i've been feeling anti-social for quite some time now

i hardly reply any SMSes, almost never start up an SMS conversation unless its really really necessary, i dont open my ym or msn messenger unless utter boredom strikes, i'm reluctant on leaving my house and going out with friends, i spend waayyyy too much time doing nothing in my room, i feel like a bitter old lady living alone with 57 cats

this sucks, i suck.
i apologize to my family and friends whom i may or may not have hurt during my period of bitternes

and no, i'm not having a period, nor am i PMS-ing or any other thing related to the female menstrual cycle. so save the dumb jokes for someone who gives a shit

but its not that i dont enjoy being in the company of my family and friends

its just that i sometimes prefer being alone, minding my own business, waking up late, not needing to care about how i look as i skip the morning(fine, afternoon) shower, wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts, watching a just-downloaded movie or tv show and playing a computer game anytime in between.

or maybe its because i'm tired of it all

the same boring routine over and over again.
its draining, really

i need something new

a change!

a change in environment
a change in the people surrounding me
a change in weather
a change in routine

any change at all
i'll take it.

i need to get out of my bubble-of-a comfort zone
and explore the world
explore what life has to offer

explore me.

maybe my life won't ever get better even after the "change"
but i'm never going to find out if i don't try

maybe my life will get worse and i'll get even more screwed-up (if that's even humanly possible)
but that's a risk i'm willing to take.

i need a barack obama moment.

drama, much?

drama.

it's everywhere
at home, at school, at our workplace
you can't escape it
it's even on tv, in movie theaters
it completely surrounds us like a sick never-ending reality show

some avoid it, some try to ignore it, some learn to accept it, and some just run away from it
while others,
they live on it
like a drug
their very own brand of morphine
it gives them a feeling like no other
entertainment at its greatest pleasure

we can all say that we hate it
loathe it
detest it

but who are we kidding...
reality shows aren't successful because they're squeaky clean and innocent fun
quite the opposite really, they expose us for who we truly are
hidden under layers and layers of fake and rehearsed sincerity

and now, even the local political scene wants a chunk at the "drama cake"

there's more drama in the past 10 months(since march 2008 general election) than in the whole gossip girl, 90210, the OC, one tree hill, grey's anatomy and any other teen-drama themed tv series' combined!

sex scandals. check
riots and illegal demos. check
verbal abuse. check
lies and deception and manipulation. check
empty promises and broken ones. check
and last but not least, the ever popular money politics and bribery. check

but wait a minute, aren't the politicians - whom we ourselves voted - supposed to help the people, administrate and govern our nation and improve or quality of life?
but instead, they're wasting our tax-paying money to cause all this commotion and leaving a mess of chaos and confusion behind

*sigh


oh come on,
you guys are old
i can't believe i'm saying this, but "act your age!"

and leave all the pathetic drama to us hormonally-enraged angst-driven emotionally-unstable teens (and early 20's!)

shoutout

happy 18th birthday to a certain someone!


you are now legally an adult
haha

lets go teach orphans together

jom! =D



and yes, i miss you

and no, i don't miss jason mraz more. XD

bloody bloodsuckers

yes. they bite
no. they dont leave fang marks
yes. they suck your blood.
no. you dont turn into one of them when you're bitten.
yes. they can fly.
no. they don't have superhuman strength or the ability to read minds.
yes. they're annoying like hell.
no. they're not vampires.

yeap. they're mosquitoes.


damn i hate them


every night at putrajaya, i will be attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes
while i'm watching a movie on my laptop,
while i'm playing computer games,
while i'm blogging,
while i'm sleeping,
they'll be flying all around me
biting me when the opportunity comes
leaving me with pink dots all over my body

as you may or may not know,
thanks to these leeches with wings, i've had the "pleasure" of getting plagued by dengue
and believe you me, it ain't a pretty sight

and now, they are attempting to help me re-live the whole unpleasant experience
crap.

so, every night, i go on a killing frenzy, literally.
i kill at least 5 mosquitoes a day
yesterday, i managed to kill 7 of them
their tiny little black and white bodies lay scattered in my room like a warzone.
wahhh XD

damn i hate mosquitoes

if i could choose any species in the world to make them extinct, i'd definitely kill off the whole mosquito species

i mean, they bug the hell out of us, they suck our blood while infecting us with dengue, malaria and other blood-related-diseases

Plus, remember Jurassic Park?
remember how the scientists got the blood of the long-lost dinosaurs from the frozen-in-time mosquito???
don't blame the cute carnivorous dinosaurs for killing all those people

blame the bloody mosquitoes.

kepuasan

today i am happy, tired, exhausted.
my whole body is aching
and tomorrow will only get worse
but i wouldnt trade this for the world
ok for 100 bucks, sure


because tonight, at loooooooooooong last!

i played some badminton with my friends!
me, mamat, akmal, wan and amri


after God-knows-how-long i haven't played badminton on a real court,
i held nothing back while playing for almost 2 hours non stop!
there were bucketloads of sweat and damn, did i smell horrible

a funny story happened actually when i got home after badminton
as i was about to put my sweat-drenched clothes in a laundry bag
i realized my boxer shorts was almost completely torn from the crotch area up
damn, i can stretch
ahahahahahaha

i know. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy too much information

but the hell do i care
i just played badminton

ohh kepuasan.

sangap

aku sangap main badminton!!!

not even remotely kidding

arghhhh

petty and pointless

the Israeli invasion on Palestine started more than 2 weeks ago but i have yet to express my thoughts and views and opinions about it

though i am writing now, I'm ashamed that I didnt write earlier as every day that passes, hundreds of my fellow muslim brothers and sisters are slaughtered mercilessly by the vile and disgusting and repulsive and evil and heartless israeli forces

you may wonder why the title of the post is "petty and pointless", is this blog post petty and pointless as it will not affect the situation in Palestine in any way whatsoever?

that, we may never know, only God knows what is certain.

but I'll be damned if I just sit around doing nothing and watch my fellow muslims being shot and bombed and killed and slaughtered.

what is it then, that is petty and pointless??

well if you ask me, our needs, our desires, achievements and failures, any feeling or emotion that we may encounter that supposedly could kill you there and then or put you in cloud nine or even myspace and facebook seem petty and pointless when you put them next to the torture and suffering, the sorrow and sadness of losing a loved one, the pain and anger of helplessness that our brothers and sisters in Palestine feel almost every second of every day ever since the israeli trash set their foot on Palestinian soil.

we who are lucky enough to have food on our table, a roof over our heads and well, pretty much anything and everything that our hearts have ever desired should COUNT OUR BLESSINGS and thank God for all that He has given us and we should help those who are in dire need and not leave our brothers and sisters to suffer and die.

we do what is in our capabilities and hope and pray for the best.
InsyaAllah.

click here if you wanna educate yourself further about the chaos and turmoil that surrounds Palestine. and thanx nina for the link!