Saturday, May 29, 2010

a traumatic experience

people who are familiar with me should know that i am not one easily frightened or spooked or shocked

i dont go running kicking n screaming everytime i see a cockroach
certain things that ppl find scary, i find it amusing

so, to say that I was somewhat "traumatized" is seriously saying something dowhh

this is gonna be a pretty(when i say pretty, i mean way-so-damn-freaking-gile) long.
You Have Been Warned!

so it all started like this...

9.30pm: just finished working/volunteering at YouthFest '10 at PWTC. i didnt have a ride home, so had to take public transportation (gahhh) the plan was to take the Ampang Line LRT from PWTC to Masjid Jamek. then walk from Masjid Jamek to Pasar Seni. its like a 700m walk. i couldve taken the Kelana Jaya Line LRT at Masjid Jamek to Pasar Seni, but that wouldve cost me RM1.20..hahaha u ppl should know what a cheapskate i am.. XD

so i decided to walk to pasar seni..but first, needed to get small change cuz all i have are rm50 and rm10 notes..and sometimes bus drivers give u hard time if u dont pay with small bills....zzzz

so i went to the 7eleven store as soon as i got out of the masjid jamek station. took a piece of bread(bun) yg harga 60cents tu and asked the 7eleven guy out loud whether they had change or not.

now thats where it all (almost) went wrong...

as i opened my wallet to check my money, i noticed the guy queuing in front of me looking at me n checking the contents of my wallet and the 2 bags that i was carrying.

*side note: i was carrying a sling bag and a free woven bag full of free stuff. both bags were quite full.

i was like "wtf?!?! why are you looking at me like that"(i didnt say this out loud laa). but of course i didnt wanna offend him. maybe he was just curious about where i came from n how i got all those stuff (i was wearing the free youthsay volunteer tshirts). so i just ignored him and paid for my 60cent bun with my rm10 note.

i got out of the shop and wanted to go right. but then i noticed that that guy(queuing in front of me) was there and was like hanging around there. i felt even more suspicious. the walkway was kinda dark and there werent alot of ppl around. a perfect setting for a horror/thriller movie.

against my better judgement and ignoring my instincts, i turned right cuz it was the faster way to go to pasar seni).

he saw me, and stopped me 5meters from the 7eleven shop. and the dialog went something like this;

org gila: wei nak mintak tlg pinjam telefon boleh x? aku nak pinjam msg kejap
me: sry dowhh..fon saya xde battery..dah kong dah
org gila: *says something to ask me to show him my hp to make sure its really kong*
maliq: *stupidly-dumbily-brainlessly pulled out his hp (nokia, which really is kong.not expensive Jet)
org gila: *takes the fon from my hands and starts examining the fon, trying to switch it on
maliq: *trying to convince him that the fon really is dead and asking him to return it
org gila: aku ade battery mcm ni. tukar battery ni jap
*insists on replacing my battery with his fon's battery.
KAU ADE PON TELEFON, KIMAKKKK! (well obviously the "i-want-to-borrow-your-fon-cuz-my-fon-is-missing story" is pure and utter crap, which i, unfortunately fell for.
maliq: *had to convince the guy that not all nokia phones use the same battery. wtf dah mcm org jual hp dah. kimak btol

then org gila guy stopped playing dumb and said "wei kalo aku nak samun ko, aku dah amik dah wallet ko, beg ko sume. ko ingat aku x bwk pisau? ko ingat aku xleh pukul ko kat sini?"

maliq: then abang nak ape? nak duit?

org gila: kalau ya, brape byk ko nk bg aku? rm50 bole?

mcm sial. nak negotiate plak. wtf!?!

then i said that i was a student laa, also didnt have money

dont remember what happened then. but i remember how it ended.

my fist connecting with his face!

kidding! duhh..

if we'd fought, i'd definitely lose

and hence, the multiple bruises on my face and body...

again, KIDDING! hahaha

this is how it really ended

i took my phone back from his hands. just like grabbed it and started walking away to the other side of the 7eleven.
while walking, i said "k bang, assalamualaikum". then he started talking again but didnt move yet.
then I said "ASSALAMUALAIKUM" loudly and with a tone of finality that ended our "conversation" and never looked back.

bile ingat balik how it ended, rase mcm Islamic gile cara2 mengelakkan diri anda daripada disamun. hahahah

i went inside a taxi 5meters away and said "pasar seni". the cab driver suggested i just walk there.
but i just went inside the cab explained to the cab driver what happened and locked the door.

heart racing, voice croaking, trembling, 70% to tearing. XD

had to use every ounce of control i had to keep calm

now, the problem with driving from masjid jamek to pasar seni is that you have to take the long way.
in other words, that "long way" cost me RM5!

*side note: i've never been in a taxicab since middle of last year cuz i think cabs overcharge like hell and i am, again, a cheapskate.cabs are for emergency purposes only. and i think this qualifies as an emergency*

just so u're clear. in wanting to save rm1.20 (LRT to pasar seni), i had to buy bread for rm0.60 (to get small change) and rm5 for taxi.

its ironic, isnt it? how a shiny slimy Predator with sharp metal claws and cool laser guns at his face dont scare me...

..but a half-stoned late-20s' malay guy does.


Monday, May 24, 2010

words are awesome

You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

awesome-est quote ever!