die another day

if u asked me how my week was,
my answer would be a short n simple 4-letter word.

h.e.l.l.

every move i make, every step i take
is a torturous act towards myself
inflicting unbearable pain
and leaving no scars or marks behind

throughout the whole week,
i was weak
i was too dependent
i couldn't sleep
i couldn't eat
i felt like my head was going to explode into a million tiny pieces
passing out anytime anywhere was a luxury i hoped dearly
to briefly escape
even for a second or two
i would love nothing more than that

my aching body says yes
my fragile mind says no

an inner struggle occured
but in the end, the mind orders
and the body obliges
hiding all signs of tiredness, fatigue, pain and suffering
and cracks a forced smile
and a laugh

i was in pain, constantly
yet no one noticed
maybe it was a compliment to me
of how well i hid my true emotions and how i really felt

or maybe they just didn't care
hmm
oh well.




with my faith as a guiding light,
and my family as a shoulder to lean on,
and my true friends whom i seek for companionship,

i will prevail
i will never back down
i will stand tall
i will wake up in the morning
to die another day