desire.

i've been feeling anti-social for quite some time now

i hardly reply any SMSes, almost never start up an SMS conversation unless its really really necessary, i dont open my ym or msn messenger unless utter boredom strikes, i'm reluctant on leaving my house and going out with friends, i spend waayyyy too much time doing nothing in my room, i feel like a bitter old lady living alone with 57 cats

this sucks, i suck.
i apologize to my family and friends whom i may or may not have hurt during my period of bitternes

and no, i'm not having a period, nor am i PMS-ing or any other thing related to the female menstrual cycle. so save the dumb jokes for someone who gives a shit

but its not that i dont enjoy being in the company of my family and friends

its just that i sometimes prefer being alone, minding my own business, waking up late, not needing to care about how i look as i skip the morning(fine, afternoon) shower, wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts, watching a just-downloaded movie or tv show and playing a computer game anytime in between.

or maybe its because i'm tired of it all

the same boring routine over and over again.
its draining, really

i need something new

a change!

a change in environment
a change in the people surrounding me
a change in weather
a change in routine

any change at all
i'll take it.

i need to get out of my bubble-of-a comfort zone
and explore the world
explore what life has to offer

explore me.

maybe my life won't ever get better even after the "change"
but i'm never going to find out if i don't try

maybe my life will get worse and i'll get even more screwed-up (if that's even humanly possible)
but that's a risk i'm willing to take.

i need a barack obama moment.